Dear Husband

Dear husband,

The date is April 26, 2014. I don't think I have met you yet; but if I have, am glad you are in my life, even though you might possibly not be my favorite person right now. You may not realise it yet either, you might think me obnoxious and silly, intimidating and mean or maybe even too serious to be your type. But if on the contrary you find me most attractive and charming, quirky and smart; I can't wait to meet you. I hope I realise what a catch you are on a beautiful day; I hope I learn to love you in the purest of ways. I know it won't be a fairytale but I hope ours will be a story to tell; not because of how extraordinary it was, but because of how unexpectedly beautiful it became. I hope you will love me as much as I will love you, maybe even more (:D). I hope you give the warmest hugs and like to hold hands; and I sure hope you'll be patient with me. I hope you like babies as much as I do (just don't expect me to have 5). I hope you appreciate a good read as much as i do, indulge in good food as I do. I hope you'll be adventurous, never limiting yourself to the ordinary. I hope you are a man who does not conform to standards, but goes above and beyond what is expected.

Husband, I hope I will become a better person because you inspire me. In you, I hope to find a friend and a lover; a safe haven and a pillar for all things I could not bear alone. In you I hope to give our children a great gift, a father like no other.

 

"To My Dear and Loving Husband

Anne Bradstreet, 1612 - 1672

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay;	
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persever,
That when we live no more we may live ever. "

Thoughts leading to 'Dear Husband'

Suppose we got older, without looking back, together..you and I...

A topic thats come up a lot in quite a few of the conversations I've had lately is that of who you end up with, who you'll get to call husband and the father of your child(ren) some day and what kind of a person you hope he'll be. I keep telling myself I don't have to think about it just yet..after all I reckon I still have plenty of time to make up my mind about who or what I need and want in my life for the long haul. Sounds great right? Except it isn't such a great plan..am in my mid twenties and not getting any younger... Not that I plan to get married tomorrow, just to be clear.

Hold my hand when we cross the street; wake me up with a good morning kiss. Play my favorite song and never be afraid to rock out with me. Text me in the middle of the day, call me to say goodnight. Send me a dozen roses just because you can; take me out of town, just to try something new.  Wouldn't we all like to be with someone like that?!  I would, but that's not all I want.. This would make the perfect boyfriend, and maybe also the perfect husband. But I think the latter needs to be a lot more.

4 letter words

Like.Love.Hurt.Hate.

In the words of Sir Elton Jones, "it's a little bit funny" how much weight a four letter word can carry; don't you agree? 

You wake up one day, and life leads you on a path that crosses someone else's and suddenly you are having sleepless nights about someone who in more ways than one is a stranger. Like. His perfect. Gentle, funny, sweet, different. His everything you've been wanting; where has he been all your life? That's probably whatever hormones that trigger crushes;some might call it infatuation. You see no wrong, only perfection. You get to spend time with him, talk over the phone, maybe even go to the movies; you start to like him. Now, at this point you have realized he is not all perfection, he has flaws, just like the next person. It bothers you, and you try to get him to work on them. You tell your siblings about him and show him off to your friends. You always look your best and are on your best behavior around him. You send each other cute text messages.   One day, you realise the flaws that bothered you before, don't. They quite frankly make him the person he is..oh wait.. Yes, the person you love. Love. How did that happen? How did you suddenly go from talking on the phone late at night to talking on the phone during the day? From being at your best with him to being just you around him. The thing about this love thing, the way I see it, is you don't need to try, you just do. Suddenly you are talking about him to your parents, bringing him to Sunday lunch(maybe not in my Zambian home..lol) and suddenly his happiness means as much to you as yours does. Even when you are not having sleepless nights thinking about him, you know his the one that has your heart. You find yourself putting his needs before yours. And that's where things start to get a little complicated. Your heart is his, but is his heart yours? He calls only every other day. Constantly picks the boys over you; now don't get me wrong, his allowed to have time with his boys, just as you are your girls; but when on any given day his picking the boys over you,or doing one thing or the next, you start to question where you stand. Questions need answers. When you can't find them yourself, you ask him. Turns out, the answers aren't always what we want to hear. Hurt. That pesky annoying emotion that we all don't like, yes that happens. You get hurt when you realise your efforts are not as appreciated as you hoped; your love has been taken for granted. You get hurt when he forgets your birthday, when you leave messages and he doesn't call you or text back. You get hurt when you realise you are not the most important person in his life anymore, because now you are probably just 'her'. You get hurt when he ends it; how did that happen? Maybe you saw it coming, maybe you didn't. Regardless of which it was, that pesky emotion shows face. You 

take time to mourn a love lost, or maybe not. You either regret him and what you had or maybe you learn from the experience. For some, once one strong emotion is lost, it is replaced by another. Hate. When you can't stand to see him happy, usually with someone else. When all the love you had is now a thing of yesterday; how could you have loved this guy? How did you miss all these traits that you now can't stomach? The world would be a better place without him. You never want to see him or hear from or about him.Hate. 

Lucky for us. It doesn't have to happen like that or in that order for that matter. The beauty of life is it throws you curveballs, and throws unexpected people into your life when you're not looking, in ways you never saw coming. That boy you thought you hated in middle school is suddenly that man waiting for you at the altar. That puny girl from around the corner is the beautiful woman having your baby. Love is a beautiful thing, so I hear. I can tell you the road leading to that destination is just as beautiful; bumpy, long and downright frustrating, yet so exciting, heartwarming and the reason you are dreaming about flower fields and rainbows. 

Oh, heart, you are such a soldier! 

Quote for the Day

"It's probably not just by chance that I'm alone. It would be very hard for a man to live with me, unless he's terribly strong. And if he's stronger than me, I"m the one who cant live with him. I am neither smart nor stupid, but I don't think i'm a run-of -the-mill person. I've been in business without being a businesswoman. I've loved without being a woman made only for love. The two men I've loved, I think, will remember me, on earth or in heaven, because men always remember a woman who caused them concern and uneasiness. I've done my best, in regard to people and to life, without precepts, but with a taste for justice.
- Coco Chanel-


that's all she wrote..xoxo

30

M is for Me... lame right? oh well..its been a long uneventful day. Here's 30 random and not so random things about me
1. Am a recluse...10 months of the year...i reckon that needs to change
2. I had a crush on a girl i was convinced was a guy..oops! She makes a totally hot boy though
3. I'm a foodie that doesnt particularly love cooking
4.I'm a lipstick addict-currently on a cleanse,my lips need it
5.Am a sucker for babies, my ovaries are jumping right now(a little inapropriate,no?)
6.I've never been overseas..2015 to do list #1
7.I love Korean tv shows; anyone seen a gentleman's dignity? I love how corny and innocent they are
8.after shoes, i love buying rings
9. i won 1st prize at a regional arts show when i was in primary school for a painting of a warrior
10. i got my first and only piercing when i was 15, a tattoo 7yrs later
11.am terrified of rats
12.I actually enjoy mathematical programming.
13.In grade12(matric) i'd take naps in my tub to avoid being woken up by my friends if i slept on my bed (boarding school was something)
14. For a term, i wore 4 badges in highschool-librarian,deputy class captain,swimming captain and prefect.
15.My family lives on a farm,love it there!
16.Vans over Louboutins(if i could afford them).
17.i climbed (mango) trees til i was 16 (too old?*hides*)
18.i've had that airport moment-great guy,great chemistry,heading to the oppose end of the globe...why??!!?
19.when i was 17, I rolled a drum under water from one end of a 25metre pool to the other with a boy i had the biggest crush on..most romantic thing ever.lol
20.i went to an all girls missionary boarding school-interesting 5years!!
21.4years ago,I scratched my dad's car,my mom and i talked him into thinking he'd done it; my mom's the best.
22.i tend to talk alot, about everything and nothing when am nervous.
23.I went through a 'boxers' phase; heck,that ish is comfy for dayss!
24. The first things i notice about a guy-shoes and hair.
25.whats most important about a guy? personality(cliche?)but really, looks arent such a big deal..it helps if he dresses and speaks "nooiiiccce"..a well read/learned guy with a sexy voice/accent all day every day?yes please..
26. did i already say i love food? am thinking about waffles and cinnamon pancakes right now.
27.Tan and oxblood...two of my fav colours at present
28.i am TERRIFIED of labour...applause for all the moms out there.
29.i lived with a korean family for 8months;they awakened my love for sushi...my chopstick skills are still shameful though.
30.I miss my dad,everyday.

SumCay with Masifunde Learners

 Here's why working with kids is such a joy..

Education, wisdom and Intelligence:part 3

Finally, here is article #3

The Difference Between Wisdom And Intelligence

“Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad.”

When discussing the difference between wisdom and intelligence, one needs to understand the definition of each. First, one can be wise but not intelligent and one can be intelligent but not wise. The definition of being wise is having or showing experience or knowledge. The definition of intelligent is to show mental keenness, to be smart.

Now a person can be smart and a person can be wise. But the same person is not necessary both at the same time. In many cases you will find that a person that is greatly intelligent will not have much in the way of being wise. In addition those who are very intelligent tend to also be secluded and withdrawn. A wise person will be more open and anxious to try different things.

The two traits do not usually exist together simply because a person who is wise has learned through experience while a person who is intelligent usually will have great book knowledge. This is usually referred to as book smart or street smart. A person who is wise has learned through experiencing the fact whereas a person who is more intelligent has only studied the possibilities.

There are examples of people who are both. However they usually are very good at using only one of their personalities traits at the same time. As a discussion involving evolution may require them to show they are intelligent while a dinner party conversation about the weather might require them to show they are wise. In addition a wise person has likely tried many different things. A person who is intelligent does not understand risk taking or participating in dangerous activities such as hand gliding for example.

It is easy to ascertain a person who is wise from one who is intelligent. An intelligent person will be the one who normally takes over a conversation and make sure that their knowledge is heard and absorbed by those around them. They are more likely to be instructors to people by sharing the intelligent things they have learned over the years.

However an individual that is wise will advise another about the dangers, problems and so on of a plan and then move on. For many years there has been a debate that being intelligent is more important than being wise. It is a matter of ability. Being a wise person does not necessarily require the ability to learn. Many things are learned through doing them and being successful or unsuccessful. When an individual is unsuccessful they wisely choose another route the next time.

Not everyone has the ability to absorb the necessary information to be either wise or intelligent. Some will learn things quickly while others will require many hours of instruction to understand the simplest part of a task. It is not necessarily a matter of being incapable mentally to absorb the information but more a matter of learning styles.

Being a wise person also requires integration. Having the ability to look at the whole picture creates a more well rounded view which leads to a better understanding of the entire subject. An individual that might be intelligent will generally focus on one key part about which they have great knowledge through scholarly study and stick to that one area rather than taking a look at the entire project as a whole. Learn about the difference between wisdom and intelligence.

(http://sharpkiwi.hubpages.com/hub/Difference-Between-Wisdom-And-Intelligence)