Daily wisdom

Are you content?

"Are you content?" someone asked me that question the other day; something out of a conversation about wishlists. My answer was that i reckon i am. I've been.thinking about it since and i still can't quite decide if my answer was adequate and whether it rang of complete honesty. To be content is defined by some as to be in.a state of satisfaction and by some as being in a state of peaceful happiness. I'll go with the latter.
There are so many things in my life i am grateful for: a great support system and endless love that is my family, great mentors and companions in the form of friends, the lifeline that is Christ and His ever abundant blessings and endless mercies. I attend a great varsity, my grades are were they should be, i am not financially needy, my self-esteem is as its always been, am nothing short of confident and happy with the person that i am. And that gets me thinking, by what standards do we establish being content? is it by academic achievements, possessions, interpersonal relationships or perhaps self image? are you content with where you are? Are you at that place you thought you would be? is this what you envisioned your life would be like 3years ago? well, am in my final year of undergrad, six more months until that degree is mine; am content with that. I still have a lot to figure out about my self before i can commit to someone else; am content with being single. My mom and my siblings are my biggest fans, my pride, my everything; i am most blessed to.have them. I like to think my dad's looking down on me from heaven; am content with the thought that i'll forever have him with me. Am content with the friends i keep, God bless their souls. All the experiences that have marked my life to date, they've made me the person that i am, taught me some of life's greatest lessons. So in as much as i may want a little more, i mean a car would be nice and straight A's would definitely put a big smile on my mom's face, i am very content with were i am and what i have. Wanting more is what drives us to achieve more and reach greater heights, or atleast it should.
That said, are you content?

☞POSER☜

Daily wisdom...

BedTime Ramblings

My conviction is greater than my need to please. Sometimes i go out of my way to make an impression, but never bending over backwards while am at it. That said, I think if you don't have a great sense of self, and aren't confidently aware of who you are, its easy to get lost in the need to please. If you're happy with the company you keep when you are alone, i say you have found yourself..afterall who you really are is the person you are when you think no one is looking..

Happy Birthday OBM..

Oswell Biandah Munyenyembe (14 May 1954-7 February 2012)

 

 

A little girl needs her daddy to love with manly charm, to soothe her when she's hurt, and keep her safe from harm.
A girl needs her dad to show her a man who is good, to help her make right choices, as only a father could.
A woman needs her father just to be aware he'll always be there for her, to sustain her and care.
you were all these things dad.

I hope you saw how much i treasured you; you meant everything to me.
if tears could build a stairway and memories were a lane, i would walk right up to heaven, to bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken, no time to say good-bye. you were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why.

Had i known, i would have called you then.
Had i known, i would have asked less questions and listened more. Had i known i known one day you'd be gone, and i couldn't show you anymore, I'd have lived each moment as if it were the last. I'd have remembered every word..never let time go by so fast.

May 2010

Why couldn't i realise that you would leave me, and I'd be caught in the past. in the moments i could have changed, the times that were your last. i would have lived a lifetime in a few short days.
Instead, i have a few brief moments, my heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow. what it meant to lose you, no one will ever know.

Rest in Peace OBM, heaven knows I miss you.

 

 

 

You'd have turned 59 yesterday...in as much as i realise this day should be a happy one, for you were so we could be, i find myself hurting...so many times i've hoped it was all just a bad dream..looks like am still waiting to wake up. Till we meet again.

Happy Birthday Dad.

 

BookLoving..

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest
and strongest kind o fear is fear of the unknown."
-H.P. Lovecraft-

Now reading a Shaun Hutson Omnibus; Relics, Spawn and Shadows.
Looks a wee bit freaky, not something I'd usually read.

Mother's Day

8 Nov, 2008.FGSS: My high school graduation.

So yesterday was mother's day , and i thought i'd post something for the very special woman in my life. This is something I posted on my facebook page last year..and it's relevant..it applies everyday of my life.

From the day that i was born, you gave me courage, you kept me safe and warm. You were there when i took my first steps, and went unsteadily across the floor. You pushed and prodded; encouraged and guided until my steps took me out the door. You worry now "are you okay?" Is there any more you could have done? As i walk the paths of the unknown, you wonder "where has my child gone?" Where i am is where you have led me, with your special love you showed me the way; to believe in myself and the decisions I make, taking on the challenge of life day-to-day. And where i go, you can be sure, in spirit you shall never be alone.For where you are is what matters most to me, because to me that will always be home.

2009, my cousin's wedding

You taught me to be faithful, so loving and so true. Whenever i am lonely my thoughts come back to you. Even when i am with you, i know how proud i am, to have you as my mother; it was part of God's great plan. You call me just to say hello, send me notes to say you care and when we are together, special moments we share.

I've copied you, mother. My words echo your voice, you're my shining example, the one of my choice. Not thinking about it, i've copied your style. You fashioned my dreams and painted my hopes; I've learned to make knots at the end of my ropes.

We all learn to love, but not from a friend; I learned your strength. You have mapped the way to heaven above by teaching me kindness, by teaching me love and when i needed comforting, you always found time. Your words were more soothing than days of childhood sublime.

Now the distance holds us apart, the boundaries have no end. but memories i hold in my heart. you're my mother, my bestfriend.

2011, Ndola. My sister, Mom and I

I LOVE YOU MOM

 

New hair... Randoms at the Paxton

Okay...so i just got a new hair-do..n went on a photo-taking binge (haha)

oh, Zandi...you kill me..

“If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane.”
― Robert Frost

hallways...show me your peace sign...waait, why does it look like i have rickets?hmm

anywhere is a dancefloor...haha

NMMU north campus, time to head home...

Shark Rock..oooh, Angelo's why so full?

Wonderful World - Salma Dodia (Official Video HD)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXb-16Ntq50

"..baby come get me..."

something from the motherland.

Zambian and Proud!

#SalmaSings

Fuse ODG ft. Wyclef - Antenna

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LCoksSQMzs

'...she wants to chop my P, do i look like square?...'

T.I.N.A

This Is New Africa... How can you not like Fuse?!! just look at how cool the 'antenna' is...

#jaaaaaammmmmm!!!!

Happiness

something i borrowed from my facebook timeline

by Vitumbiko Dee M. Oswell (Notes) on Friday, 25 May 2012 at 19:59

we convince ourselves that life will be better once we are married,have a baby, then another. Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough and that all will be well when they are older. Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we will be happier when they grow out of their teen years.We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we retire finally.The truth is there is no better time to be happy than right now. If not, then when?your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much n decide to be happy inspite of it all. There is no road to happiness, happiness IS the road.Enjoy every moment. Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten kilos,to gain ten kilos,for work to begin,to get married,for friday evening, for sunday morning, waiting for a new car,for the first or fifteen of the month, for spring,for summer,for winter, for fall, for your song to be played on the radio, to die.....before deciding to be HAPPY!!!

My Fav Pic....

I decided i wanted to post some of my very favourite pictures...it's probably gonna work out as a weekend series...no such thing as taking one too many pics.

This is by far the most priceless pic i have...my very favourite. The very last pic i took wif both my parents, december 2012, at the farm that is now home. MYSRIEP daddy, miss you sooo very much.

Here are lyrics of my one of my favourite songs, by Elvis Blue, winner of South African idols 2010. Find at the the bottom a link if you wanna give it a listen.

The Things My Father Said

The things my father said would make me a better man
Hard work and the love of friends, a woman that understands
I hope my father knows the seeds we've sown still grow
At night I go to sleep and pray he is watching over me

Somewhere there's a star that's shining

So bright that I can see you smile

And all that I need is one last chance

Just to hear you say goodbye


Sometimes I remember when you taught me to tie my shoes

One thing I will never forget is the day that I lost you

I hope you always know the car that we built will always roll


Somewhere there's a star that's shining

So bright that I can see you smile

And all that I need is one last chance

Just to hear you say goodbye


And if you have a dream you better hang on for dear life

And when that cold wind blows just let it pass you by

Yeah, things my father said

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah


Somewhere there's a star that's shining

So bright that I can see you smile

And all that I need is one last chance

Just to hear you, you say goodbye, goodbye

Just to hear you say goodbye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rssE9FZ-uL4 

Rambling from December '12

12-12-12 is the date today.  Apparently, there’s supposed to be something special about it, what with all those 1s and 2s. If you ask me, the only special thing about it is that I am awake, alive and breathing to see a new dawn, thank you GOD. Sitting at this desk, looking out through the glass door, I notice how our thoughts are influenced by what we see. A man crossing the road, with a baby strapped across his chest; a sick wife perhaps, or just a hands-on dad. I wonder, if I ever do get married, what type of a father my husband will be. Hopefully, he’ll be one who’ll want to play with the kids in the backyard and spend as much time with them as I will.

A young woman walks by, yawning like she’s determined to swallow a fly; how unlady-like. What tells a cultured woman apart from one who isn’t? Is it the way she dresses? The way she walks perhaps? Better yet, could it be the way she carries herself and what she portrays to the world? If you asked me, I’d say it’s a combination of all the above and more. It is not enough to dress appropriately, or walk with an acceptable or elegant gait, one has to live, act and be the part. How you behave when you think no one else is looking is also just as important, after all it is then that your true character shines through. 

A young man walks by, pants hanging low, shirt a few sizes too large and shoes different shades of white. I wonder what makes him tick, what drives him, what image he hopes to portray. Is it choice or circumstance?

It’s raining, raining hard. Been looking forward to such weather, even though I hoped it would get like this over a weekend, when I didn’t need to be at work.

I was hoping to write something deep, that will get me thinking when I read through it later but apparently not, my mind refuses to focus and is dancing all over the place, urging me to just type whatever.

A woman walks by, silver lines were her eyebrows used to be. What is that? Why would you do that? On which planet does that count as ‘beautifying’ yourself?  Orange face (aka bleached face)? What’s the point if the rest of your body is as dark as they come? Not like someone’s only ever going to be looking at your face.  To think even men do that to themselves these days is just such a shame.

Am I a tad bit critical? Maybe. But so is everyone else who has opinions about as many things as I do. One can’t just accept certain things as standards simply because everyone else is doing it or considers it ‘normal’, after all normal is relative. I know I don’t, conforming to standards is not for me.

The feeling you get when you read the last word of the last page of a book, and you have to close the book. Hoping you could read more?  Wishing you hadn’t read it as fast? Or maybe wishing you had read it a little faster.  I find that feeling relates to a lot more practical things. Relationships are one; say friends, family, love interests. I suppose it also applies to phases or time periods. Times you wish you could go back to and re-live, or times you’d rather erase, shove to a dark corner at the back of you brain.

If you could see me now, I wonder if you’d be proud. If you could tell me one more time respect is earned, that humility before hard work gets you places and that most importantly the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.  I cut my hair, finally. After all the times you tried talking me into it, I finally did it; on my own. Reckon you’d have gone on and on about how alike we look. I know you wouldn’t have been too happy with last year’s grades, but I made it to fourth year. I made it to that final year with a clean slate. We had so many plans; graduation, post grad, n thereafter. I die a thousand deaths every time I think about it; it’s the one gift I so badly wanted to give you. To see the pride on your face, it would have meant the world to me. I still look for your face, in my dreams. Smiling, laughing, seated at the kitchen table having that conversation we had one too many times.

Sometimes, in the heat of everything else, I get excited about the future. I am so excited for what I hope this year will bring and where it will lead me. What I’ll see, where I’ll go, who I’ll meet.  And then in the heart of the excitement, am reminded so many things may go wrong.

Somewhere over the rainbow, what a beautiful song! Gets me all the time. First you think it’s the broken heart, but what’s going to kill you is the second part.

Hey, my name is Dee, am very indecisive (psych).  I used to know exactly what I wanted and when, now I just know what I don’t want, rarely what I want. I get bored quite easily, with things and sometimes people, which is not something am very proud of. I change my hair every other week, something about re-inventing yourself. I always thought or wanted to get married when I was 27; that’s only four years from now. I haven’t met anyone I think I’d like to spend the rest of my life with; the one I thought I would be with for the longest time didn’t stay as long as I hoped. I want to have a girl someday, call her Oswellah, which would be cute. She would have big beautiful eyes, or maybe not, but still beautiful. I don’t know yet what I would like to call him if I had a boy. I always thought I’d want three kids, but now I think 2 will be just fine; granted am blessed enough to have a boy and girl. The thought of child birth however knocks the day lights out of me; yes, it terrifies me that much. The thought of all that pain, and fear of the unknown I suppose, just gives me the creeps. But I keep telling myself I’ll make a sexy pregnant girl (lol), yes, I’ll be that baby mama to be with the hundred and one short dresses.

What’s my type of guy? Hmm, honestly I don’t know. I always thought tall, dark and handsome was my type, but I am yet to date someone who fits that criteria. I want an independent guy, not necessarily financially right now, but someone who intends to be soon enough. I want ambition, drive and cultured persona. I want a decisive guy, no point in both of us being indecisive. I want him to know Christ, take me as I am and make me want to be a better person. I want him firm, but not harsh; attentive but not needy; protective but not possessive.

I am impatient, best believe I have tried countless times to work on it, but patience just seems to elude me.

‘The days I can’t see your eyes, I don’t even want to open mine, Chester See is brilliant.

 

 

Memorial Post- 07/02/13

IT WAS FEBRUARY 7^TH, JUST OVER A YEAR AGO, WHEN THE LORD CALLED YOU BACK HOME, FOR AS CHRISTIANS, WE ARE JUST BUT VISITORS PASSING THROUGH THIS WORLD. You never said “good bye” You were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why. Because the day God gave his angels the command to bring back home his son, your days on earth were over and we felt left alone. Tears fell like RAIN; hearts were broken in two.WE STILL LOOK FOR YOUR FACE IN THE CLOUDS, WONDERING IF YOU COULD SEE US NOW, WOULD YOU BE PROUD. WE LOST A DAD, BUT SOMEONE LOST A HUSBAND, A SON, A BROTHER, A GRAND DAD, A FRIEND; WE’RE ALL MISSING OUT.

 You never said “I’m leaving”   Up to now, we cannot find words to justify how much we miss you, we miss been daddy’s girls and boys and the warm love that we shared. You protected us and never even for once let us doubt how much you cared. You were our HERO dad; you filled our hearts with great pride. We thought Heroes lived for ever until the day that you answered the lord’s call.

WE DO EVERYTHING TO FIND ANSWERS, WE’VE ASKED COUNTLESS QUESTIONS BUT GOD’S TIME IS BEST AND HE ALONE HAS ANSWERS. THE LAST YEAR HAS NOT BEEN THE EASIEST FOR ANY OF US, MORE ESPECIALLY FOR OUR MOM, BUT GOD HAS LED US THROUGH IT ALL WITH THE ATMOST GRACE AND USING THOSE VERY VALUES THAT OUR DAD INSTILLED IN US, HE HAS STRENGTHENED US AND BROUGHT US EVEN CLOSER TOGETHER.

 There are no words to tell you just what we feel inside. The shock, the hurt, the anger might gradually subside. A million times we need you, a million times we cry. If love could have saved you, you never would have died. In life we loved you dearly, in death we love you still, in our hearts you hold a place that no one could ever fill.

It broke our hearts to lose you, but you didn’t go alone, for part of us went with you the day God took you home. Things will never be the same and although it hurts so badly, we will smile whenever we hear your name and be proud you were our dad.

WHEN HE DIED, OUR DAD WAS 58YEARS AND HAD LIVED A WORTH WHILE LIFE. TO US, HE WAS THE VERY EXAMPLE OF HUMILITY, HARDWORK, LOVE, PERSEVERANCE AND GENEROUSITY. HE ALWAYS PUSHED US IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION, REBUKED US WHEN WE NEEDED IT AND REVEALED TO US WISDOM HE HAD GAINED OVER THE YEARS. HE WAS A MENTOR, A FRIEND, AND A CONFIDANT BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE WAS A GREAT FATHER. HE MADE TIME, EVEN WHEN HIS WORK DEMANDED HIS ATTENTION THE MOST, TO CHAT WITH US, ENCOURAGE US AND GIVE US ADVICE AND JUST BE THERE FOR US.

We love you always and until God joins us together, you will forever live in our hearts.

Bayport end of year party

December 2012, My sister, Tiwonge, in all black, our friend Martha in blue and me in black and white..good times.

and that's my brother with them here

 

clearly 'shopping' in my mother's closet pays :P

.....randoms

when i decided i wanted to start a blog, it was a spur of the moment kinda thing. i didn;t really know what i was gonna write about, or post; i still don't..so i choose to just freestyle before i actually tell my friends and fam about it.. May 14th, 4 days to my dad's birthday. He'd be 59 then...one year gone, miss you daddy! it's a wet day in PE..brrrrrrr. I dnt fancy winter anymore, winter clothes are heavy and not to my liking...am never ever totally happy wif what i wear..