I miss him..

One of my friends said something to me the other day that got me thinking. We always identify ourselves with the people in our lives, our loved ones..  "Hie, I am OBM's daughter....Sangwani's sister... Mwabu's girlfriend or Zandi's friend..". So what happens when you lose that person? a part of your identity goes with them. I felt like that when my dad died. Suddenly this large part of who i was was taken away from me; my icecream had suddenly fallen out of its cone and there was nothing i could do about it; a part of my lifeline was yanked off and for a while there i wasn't sure. Every now and then i think about how i can no longer pick up the phone and call him..or wait on his phone calls...hear him say "what do you want?" even when i just called him to let him know i missed him. I will always be his third born daughter; just that i can't be in the same room with him now, that he won't hear me say i love him (or maybe he can). I miss that man. All the lectures, all the late night chats, all the wise words and all the funny things he rarely said..i just miss being his daughter.
When you think you've seen it all, felt it all; another significant event in your life brings a fresh wave of emotions and pain.

A piece for the ladies...by KB

A piece by KB from the 116 clique for ladies on Suzy Rock's website, Vanity Suxx......(take time to check it out)

To my sisters….

I’d like to start this letter off by saying that I’m incredibly blessed by your love for Jesus.

You are the only women in the world who possess a beauty that will never cease to be complimented (Prov. 31:10).


You have the type of beauty that does NOT fade with age, for it is the type of beauty that flows from fearing Jehovah! The most expensive clothing you will ever wear will not be from a designer’s closet, but from the life purchased by “The Designer’s” Son – the clothing of righteousness. You are daughters of God and you inherit His features; you have His kindness, gentleness and beauty. There are no brothers in the world that should be more proud of their sisters than we are. Along with this, there should be no brothers in the world who are more jealous for their sisters than we are. When I say jealous, I don’t mean jealous of you because I am envious of wanting something that doesn’t belong to me. But rather, I am jealous for you in the way the Bible calls, godly jealously (2Cor. 11:2), in which I zealously want God to have what belongs to Him, your undivided devotion. Sisters, you live in a society where femininity is almost completely lost. Women are said to be “lady like” when they are sex hungry, materialistic, independent, deranged, and have serial relationships. And truthfully, most of what we know about womanhood, especially sex, sexuality and dating, has NOT come from good teachers but from this world. There is so much competing for your heart dear sister and it is my earnest desire to guard and protect you.

There is a real enemy against you, and one of his greatest tools is the simple phrase: “Everybody is doing it.” What the world needs is more godly women who take a stand on the bible. You will be most influential on everybody else when you are most unlike everybody else. My hope is to give you some brotherly guidance to help protect your purity and develop your growth in the Lord. Lets start with biblical courtship. Here are some thoughts from a jealous brother:

God is not interested in developing you into the perfect girlfriend, but into an exemplary wife. For the women of God, there is but one reason why you should allow a man to draw near to you and that is for the purpose of marriage.

If a man is not ready to commit to you then he is not ready to court you. There is nothing more wasteful than dating for fun. This is the epitome of how the world practices things, where commitment means “test driving.” And then after you’ve spilled coffee on the seats, used up the gas and dented the doors you leave the car for somebody else to maintain.

Men and even “Christian men” are greatly responsible for this, but sisters you are not off the hook because you allow it. At all times, my beloved sister, you are another man’s wife. You belong to your future husband or collectively to the bride of Christ, but in either case, you are not your own and are not available for “test driving.” YOU WILL do tremendous damage to your life if you join the “serial monogamy” of modern dating. Hopping from one committed relationship to the next does not give you experience on how to stay committed to one man all life long. Rather, it teaches you to leave when things are not working out, and find somebody else. In other words, you’re being trained to divorce in the future. Contrary to popular belief, experience is not your strongest ally in a relationship, biblical wisdom is. The world would have you live and learn but the bible will have you learn and live.
Singleness

There is a such thing as the gift of singleness and it is not the Lord’s will for everyone to marry. But I’ve come to believe that the “gift” of singleness is the same thing as the “state” of singleness. Figuring out if you have “the gift” or not is not of supreme importance because with or without “the gift” you are called to live a God-devoted life in your singleness. I know of several men and women who are in their late 50′s and have never been married. They would say that they have the gift of singleness, but almost all of them still desire to marry. It’s difficult to be single, but it is also difficult to be married. There is not a gift that makes singleness easier just like there is no gift that makes marriage easier. The phrase, “You complete me,” is a romanticized misunderstanding. We are not half beings hoping to find completion in some soul mate. We are whole beings made for God. You will only be complete in Him and that must be done with or without a spouse. I know the common question is, “Will I ever get married?” Well i don’t know, but if you are in Christ, I do know that you will never be alone.

What He must Be
Sisters you should only embrace a man that loves God more than He loves you. Only settle for a man who can lead you spiritually, who is capable of washing you in the Word. It would be tremendously better to remain single than to become one with someone who does not love Jesus. I understand that there are cases where the Lord has been gracious to save non-believing spouses, but know that is not ideal or normative. A man is incapable of loving you like Christ loved the church if He is does not know who Christ is.

Now I must warn you that you should equally be aware of brothers who are indeed christian, but indeed boys. Being a Christian doesn’t make you worthy of a wife.

Sisters, look for a man who knows the gospel, and will physically lay his life down for you like Jesus did for his bride. Look for a man who values sexual purity and avoids being in compromising environments with you. You want a man who knows where he is going in life and is not known to be inconsistent and irresponsible. Ladies, HE NEEDS TO HAVE A JOB (or at least be on His way to having a job). Not only is he to be a provider for the family, but he needs to know the necessity and difficulty of being industrious. If you are feeding him, clothing him and transporting him to places every week, then there might be an issue. Don’t settle for anything less than a worthy man.


What You must Be
Sisters you must learn to be attractive without being seductive. The bible says, “Do not let your adornment be merely outward-arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” (1 Pet. 3:3-4)

The world will tell you that the way to keep a man is through your curves and body parts. And I say to you sister, any man that is kept by body parts is not worth keeping. Always remember, “What you catch them with is what you catch them to.” If a brother ONLY wants you because of the way you look, he will stop wanting you when you cease to look that way or a better looking woman comes along. Both will happen. Dress to impress a man’s spirit, not his lust. Check your motives, get godly counsel and intentionally try to serve your brothers by dressing modestly. Modesty is not old fashioned, but godliness on display. Allow a man to discover your beauty on his own rather than flaunting what you think he’ll like. I do encourage you to stay in shape, work out, and maintain a healthy size proportional to your body type. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking good, your future husband will appreciate that. I see no biblical reason that forbids you from letting a man know how you feel about him, and putting yourself in an environment where connection can happen. But this information should flow out of a pure friendship, and those environments are most ideal in group settings. Don’t be secretive with your relationship – drown yourself in wise counsel. Thats what I did and I continue to do so, and it is one of the the most helpful tools in my marriage today.

Conclusion and Contentment
I know that many of you have been told that your concern in singleness should be contentment in Christ and not getting married. And although your concern should be contentment in Christ, wanting to get married is not a threat to that concern. Your desire to have a man, is a good and godly desire. It only becomes a problem when that desire for a future husband disrupts your present pursuit of the Lord – when that desire turns into doubt and you question if the Lord knows what He’s doing. Getting married does not fix our issues of contentment, it only give us another person to be discontent with. Contentment is satisfaction that is unmoved by circumstance because it only comes from having Jesus.

 

xx

My nunus..

I love that even in the middle of the exam madness, we can find time to be totally carefree and act crazy and clown around (its probably what we do best,lol). 4 years on and Mwaka and Anelisa get weirder and crazier by the day; and i with them. I love these girls!!

Anelisa

Mwaka

 

 

yes, we're definitely loco

piggy back ride

anelisa,what are you doing?

see me going old school

rabbit hop maybe?

see what's making our backyard look so pretty

I want it all

I see how sometimes it can be so easy to give up on the things we want. When you've tried and think you've given it your best but you really haven't ; now am left wallowing in thoughts of what i could have done better or that maybe i was just never meant to have it.
I'm feeling a little deflated, not as optimistic as i usually am. There are so many things i want but feel are out of my reach right now. I also can't shake the feeling that i flanked one of my exams; failure is a small death i tell you! That degree feels so close but yet so far away (sigh).
Why do all the choices we make have to be a trade off, give up one thing to attain the next; why can't we have it all? I know "you can't have the cake and eat it" but sometimes i wish i could...I want it all.
I didn't realise until now how easily we can get consumed by the things we cannot control; how easy it is to get caught up in things gone by,things that cannot be changed.

Til death do us part

 I was a skeptic before, but i reckon am a believer now..lots of good men out there, I have met a few.
Anyway, that's not what this post is about. I wrote my third exam, the last one of the economics lot and it was to say the least, "the stuff that nightmares are made of"...yes, it was that bad (sniffing)..3qns, 5essays and i was only one hundred percent sure about one..read the whole text book and still he found a way of asking questions that had me grasping at thin straws; my lecturer is a joker,not!
That aside, am trying to find something meaningful..or deep to write about, you know ,reclaim some of the dignity i lost to that ass whooping exam...feel intellectual again. So i'll go with marriage. Everyday, when i log onto my facebook, someone either got married or engaged, urm..did i not get the memo?what is with this marriage craze?! or maybe its just me.
1)Marriage: the legal status,condition or relationship that results from a contract by which one man and one woman,who have the capacity to enter into such an agreement,mutually promise to live together in the relationship of husband and wife in law for life or until the legal termination of the relationship (legal dictionary)
2)therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24)
That said, i think alot of people today are getting married for the wrong reasons. Getting married because there's a baby on the way is one such reason. Wanting to bring a child into this world legitimately by law(inside marriage) is a noble cause, but you really should have thought about that before and when you made that baby. If marriage was on the cards before,well and good, but being coerced into marriage because of the situation you find yourselves in isn't gonna help anything. Odds are that you are still young and are not ready for marriage. some people build better relationship when they do get married, but many more feel trapped, and start to resent each other. You don't want that for yourself or the child you're about to bring into the world. Another reason is "we've been together for so long it was the next step and everyone expected it of us." It's a good enough reason but you need something more than that. You need to be in love with that person enough to want to spend the rest of your life with him or her. It's easy to mix being in love and loving someone..i reckon that difference is applied once you're married(speculating,i've never been married). Sometimes when you've been with someone for so long you take them for granted, and tend to take a lot of other things for granted too, things that might be important to the other person. You don't want to be stuck in a marriage only to realise you're in it with a friend and not a husband..not that your husband shouldn't be your friend (am i making sense?). Anyway, I guess when you know he or she is the one,you just know..3months or 10yrs later.
Now, point 1) and 2) clearly state ONE man and ONE woman..now,tell me why do most marriages today involve third n fourth parties?! clearly people aren't honouring the sanctity of marriage anymore. "I'll always go home to the wife,but it doesn't mean i can't have a lil fun with other girls"... "hubby is loving and everything,but he doesn't spoil me the way other guys do"...  You hear ish like that on the daily...ON THE DAILY. What standard are we setting for the next generation? its okay to cheat, its just a little fun, no harm done....wrong!! Seriously, if you can't keep your heart and body in one place, just don't get married. One man for one woman and vice versa, period! when you decide to get married, your days of frat boy/life of the party behaviour are over mate! once you get married to that guy, forget about other men's advances and their cheap talk. If he can disrespect your marriage by disregarding the fact that you're married, odds are the oak doesn't know right from wrong or where to draw the line..he'll disrespect you too.
Don't even get me started on girls who allow themselves to be side chic/plates (since wifey is the main chic) or men that go after other men's wives. Shame on you!! yes, I'll be judgemental about it, unless you honestly didn't know he or she was married, there is no excuse for you to be in that relationship. He will never leave his wife for you; unless of course his as much of an ass head as you are. If she leaves her husband for you, what makes you think she won't leave you too?! wise up!
That said...if you're ready,love that girl/boy, are committed and in it for the long haul..20 or 4O..wife her..marry that lad and be merry..Til death do you part!
xx

23!!

just because its my birthday soon..!!

 

 

 

36 brilliant quotes for my birth month, November!

Just because I was born in november, it is a special month, y'all better recognise (haha). I like to get inspired by all these beautiful and meaningful words these awesome academics, poets, historians, authors and philosphers (and whatever else) were quoted saying..

 

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, affects its successful outcome.”
– William James

 

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.”
– Alan Alda

 

“Here is a test to find out whether your mission on earth is finished: If you are alive, it isn’t.”
– Richard Bach

 

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”
– Charles Darwin

 

“Flaming enthusiasm, backed by horse-sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.”
– Dale Carnegie

 

“Try to forget yourself in the service of others. For when we think too much of ourselves and our own interests, we easily become despondent. But when we work for others, our efforts return to bless us.”
– Sidney Powell

 

“It is not by spectacular achievements that man can be transformed, but by will.”
– Henrik Ibsen

 

“The idle person gets nowhere. The perpetually busy person does not get much further.”
– Sir Heneage Ogilivie

 

“It is always in season for old men to learn.”
– Aeschylus

 

“More persons are humbugged by believing in nothing than by believing in too much.”
– P.T. Barnum

 

“Nature uses human imagination to lift her work of creation to even higher levels.”
– Luigi Pirandello

 

“Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.”
– Carl Sandburg

 

“What is now proved was once only imagined.”
– William Blake

 

“I figured if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.”
– Muhammad Ali

 

“Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can.”
– Lowell Thomas

 

“Once we know our own weaknesses they cease to do us any harm.”
– Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

 

“Well done is better than well said.”
– Benjamin Franklin

 

“To be a champion, you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will.”
– Sugar Ray Robinson

 

“No labor, however humble, is dishonoring.”
– The Talmud

 

“Don’t dream it. Be it!”
– Richard O’Brian

 

“Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.”
– Jim Rohn

“Nothing ever comes to one that is worth having

 except as a result of hard work.”
– Booker T. Washington

 

“The successful person will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.”
– Dale Carnegie

 

“I’ve always tried to go one step past wherever people expected me to end up.”
– Beverly Sills

 

“Don’t let the fear of striking out hold you back.”
– Babe Ruth

“The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

“Make a success of living by seeing the goal and aiming for it unswervingly.”
– Cecil B. De Mille

 

“Optimists are right. So are pessimists. It’s up to you to choose which you will be.”
– Harvey Mackay

 

“Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?”
– Frank Scully

 

“It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
– Albert Einstein

 

“The path to success is to take massive, determined action.”
– Anthony Robbins

 

“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.”
– Rene Descartes

 

“Never turn down a job because you think it’s too small; you don’t know where it can lead.”
– Julia Morgan

 

“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”
– Colin Powell

 

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit.”
– Aristotle

 

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

 

......and because I believe in the beauty of all my dreams, the future belongs to ME!!! lol

....

 ...oh what wisdom Chinua Achebe (RIP) had...

If you don't like someone's story, write your own. Nobody can teach me who i am, and what i need is something i have to find out myself. It is the story maker who makes us what we are, who creates history; the storyteller creates the memory that the survivors must have-otherwise their surviving would have no meaning.

 

We cannot trample upon the humanity of others without devaluing our own. As an Igbo proverb goes "onye ji onye n'ani ji onwe ya"; he who will hold another down in the mud must stay in the mud to keep him down.When a tradition gathers enough strength to go on for centuries, you just don't turn it off one day.

 

When suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat, he tells you not to worry because he brought his own stool. While we do good works, let us not forget that the real solution lies in a world in which charity will have become unnecessary.

 

"that we are surrounded by deep mysteries is known to all but the incurably ignorant"

2am ramblings

Quoting my not so newly found favourite author, C.JoyBell C, "it is during the times when i am far outside my element that i experience myself the most."

Something about being uncomfortable, nervous, angry, sad or stressed that brings out certain truths out of us. I find that i write better when i am having an off day or i'm struggling with something; nothing to kick start pensive moments like sadness n possible failure. Apparently my mind is too busy dancing to be very creative when i am happy or excited.
I reckon I over analyse situations, over think things and end up psyching myself up..most times its all for nothing, i need to let things just play out sometimes.

Bright eyed and bushy tailed at 2am; er..not exactly how i hoped the night would turn out. Every other day, there's news of another young soul gone too soon, a reminder of just how fragile life is. What if tomorrow never comes? what if am breathing my last? if i never live to see another sunrise, or achieve my heart's desires; or live to speak what's weighing heavily on my heart?
We take it for granted,oh so casually, that tomorrow is given;that we'll go to bed and be up nice and early the next day to go about our business. Not even stopping for a moment to think what a blessing it is to be alive this day. That you're well enough to read this,and that am favoured enough to write this; that in itself is a gift.
I constantly ask myself "are you afraid of dying?" i could be seated on a bus riding home from varsity, or having a cup of tea(most likely rooibos.lol), and there it is, the question just pops up in my head. I've tried to convince myself that i've made peace with dying; sooner or later we'll all die anyway right? It's the fear of the unknown that bothers me, that i will be non existant or will i just go into a state of nothingness? or will my soul(spirit) linger around a little longer?
And thoughts like these is why i should rather be asleep than bright eyed at two in the morning.

When September ends...

I often struggle to find meaning in this world. I may know some of it but yet wonder where I should go. Hidden in the questions which we cannot find, are the answers; hidden deep inside  our minds. Hidden in our soul, there lies the life we try to hide.
In a world filled with changes each and everyday; it gets easier to second guess myself and harder to be sure about any one thing.
I'm trying to find something to base my life upon, something in this strange world that will remain even when the years go by and time fades away.
An ambition to become something more, to understand that am pretty much my own and become who and what am meant to be.
I know where i've been, don't know where am going but i sure hope i'll still be someone i can be proud of.

Solitude

“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I've learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.” 
    C. JoyBell C.   

 

I'm unpredictable, I never know where I'm going until I get there, I'm so random, I'm always growing, learning, changing, I'm never the same person twice (sorta). But one thing you can be sure of about me; is I will always do exactly what I want to do. It's not very easy to grow up into a woman. We are always taught, almost bombarded, with ideals of what we should be at every age in our lives: "This is what you should wear at age twenty", "That is what you must act like at age twenty-five", "This is what you should be doing when you are seventeen." But amidst all the many voices, there lacks the voice of assurance. There is no comfort and assurance. "I want to be able to say, that there are four things admirable for a woman to be, at any age! Whether you are four or forty-four or nineteen! It's always wonderful to be elegant, it's always fashionable to have grace, it's always glamorous to be brave, and it's always important to own a delightful perfume!" Yes, wearing a beautiful fragrance is in style at any age!”  AND always have an outlet for the days you don't feel too pretty or composed, or confident, or loved or just plain lost. More so on those days when all you feel is anger, frustration and you're mad at the universe! My outlet in one word, Solitude! A space to scream, to cry, and be silent.

For My Sister...

Last post, I talked about my sister’s pending nuptials. Well, she’s a married woman now and that wedding was definitely the highlight of my year;  she made one heck of a beautiful bride, I am super proud of her (psych). Now, I can count the number of weddings I’ve attended before this one (two!!) and I had no clue whatsoever how much work it all was; take it from me, IT IS WORK!!!!!! Haven’t been that tired at any one time in my ENTIRE life, but you know, it was all well worth the running around, bad hair days, mood swings and all the weight loss (yes, scales don’t lie. lol)! When the big day finally came around, all that was forgotten; enter nerves, anxiety, excitement n emotions sitting on pins and needles! I didn’t even know what I was feeling in the end, madness I tell you, madness I’d embrace all over! I can’t even begin to imagine what my sister was feeling, besides indecision about which tiara, what neck piece and which earrings to wear; I swear she had jewellery for five brides, haha. We (bridal party) were fashionably late, translated 2hours late, wasn’t so funny then but thinking back to it, hahahaha, oh my, the groom must have died a thousand lil’ deaths, but we made it; happy bride, happy groom! Long story cut short, July 1^st 2013, was a day that will be in my heart and in my mind for a lifetime. Beautiful  people, beautiful event, happiness all round, it was absolute perfection! To my sister and her husband, wishing you the happiest marriage! There goes my bestie, all married and grown... who’s next? I know it definitely ain’t me..hahaha.

Pics coming soon, and here's the speech they never got to hear...

"Good afternoon everyone. I know that I am not nearly as popular as my gorgeous and radiant sister here, and so for those of you who do not know me, I am the bride’s very proud sister, and maid of honor. I am here to deliver a short speech, which will hopefully have no emotional hiccups. But if it does, please bear with me.

Sis, now Mrs. Mithi , and to your charming husband, congrats! Know that I am truly happy for you, you deserve it.  We’ve shared everything since we were young; we might have argued, bickered and even fought as kids, but as always we found a way to make up. The love we have for each other has taught us a lot on forgiveness and the utter need for each other. The older we’ve grown, the stronger our bond has grown, both as sisters and friends. And I know, that though she is married now, we will always have that special connection. I am so happy to be part of this very special day and I know she has found her soul mate. Our father, OBM, who cannot be with us today, MHSRIP, would agree that this day is one for happiness and looking ahead. He would have been very pleased to know what a comfort the groom has been to my sister and how happy he has made her by making her his bride today.

And to my brother in law, a warning, hurt her and I’ll hurt you. But seriously, love her and take care of her. Most importantly, never ever give up on her. Marriage does not only create a kinship. It also joins together two souls in the holy sacrament of matrimony. As they always say, it won’t be easy; you won’t always agree on things but trust that your love is enough to make everything alright.

My wish for both of you is that you’ll find the happiness that you deserve within your marriage. Never falter on your love, because it is true. Prove to us that love still exists, and that it exists in your relationship. May you have as many kids as you want, and may your family be centered on our creator Jesus Christ.

Please raise your glasses and give a toast to the bride and groom."

 

5months until 2014!!!!! Whaaaa?!!! time's definitely flying by, or so I think.
Feels like was just the other day we bid 2012 farewell. So its been a month
And then some since my last post, seems scribbling has taken the back seat.
Anywho, am here and I am ready to scribble!!!!! Phone's being a nut case, so
Looks like my next post will have to wait for tomorrow.

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

The date is 15-06-2013, i am in my room sitted in bed instead of studying for that exam i am writing on wednesday. You wouldn't agree with the way i have spent this day; but in my defence, the weather's been such an opium.

In two weeks, one of your girls is going to walk down the aisle. I wrote out my speech the other day; my heart is breaking all over again knowing that you can't be there to walk her. I know you would have been so proud, just like any other father whose lucky enough to see their little girl become a wife. Every happy moment turns bitter sweet when we are reminded of your absence.

I know you always said we should live our lives and be the best that we can be once you were gone, and keep your legacy alive. But so often i am reminded what a great part of who i am you were and still are; i find myself unable to fill that hole.

As this year's fathers' day comes around, i am praying that you're sleeping in peace; and am hoping you knew just how much you were loved and appreciated.

You are missed, ever so much more by the day.

-Vitumbiko-

Moments

"You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all that doesn't even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to critise yourself; is a second of your life wasted, a moment of your life that you have thrown away. It's not like you have forever, so don't waste any of the seconds, don't throw even one of your moments away."

-C. JoyBell C.-

Yes..i know i've been quoting other people alot lately, but these pieces are really great and am a sucker for 'feel good' writing. ..and it's exam time; all my creative juices have taken a back seat.
Life's too short to be anything but happy and beautiful..and your own person...yes, even when exams are knocking you over left right and center.
Keeping up with trends, appearances, and everything else can get quite toxic; it sure is a lot of work and may cost a small fortune. Be content and embrace all your moments, everyone of them! I know i do, most days anyway :P.

xx

Self Worth

Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you. What's important to me is not others' opinion of me, but what's important to me is my opinion of myself.

I am not a little bit of many things; but I am the sufficient representation of many things. I am not an incompletion of all these races; but I am a masterpiece of the prolific. I am an entirety, I am not a lack of anything; rather I am a whole of many things. God did not see it needful to make me generic. He thinks I am better than that.”
C. JoyBell C.
If you wish to achieve worthwhile things in your personal and career life, you must become a worthwhile person in your own self-development.

Sunrise

Looking at the view outside my window this morning, i was inspired to post something about sunrise. Took these pics and found this great piece of writing on Booksie.

“I watched the dawn of day, waiting for the world to come out and play.

The sushine seeped through the unawakened earth,
soon to be a new re-birth.

The flowers were still until the first breeze;
they swayed gently with such ease.

Birds flew high above my gaze, the shadows disappeared there was no haze.

I watched the dawn of the day,
thy beauty took my breath away"

poetry by AnotherWriter, find him on http://www.booksie.com/anotherwriter.

Goodmorning.xx

Linger a moment longer

Smiles breathe upon my soul; soft and light, barely heard; yet seeping within faith's hope they nourish and time spent waiting is time well spent.

Uncertain where i have been hiding, unsure of which direction to travel, undefined as the woman longed to, i am growing closer to knowledge found.

Perhaps it is indeed the heated air or the flowers' bud scenting all of life but i know with each breath i inhale within..

that i will linger but a moment longer

I needed this today

I needed to be reminded that my problems shouldn't keep me from achieving my dreams. #Let's

Ranting 101!

That ish that i hate...people being all up in my face. No! if i don't want to talk to you, i don't wanna talk to you..if i don't wanna do something you won't make me. If you're not my mother quit patronising me! some people just need to learn when to stop and where to get off. See the thing with always putting up with people is they start taking advantage and take is as a weakness! And when you go on and snap, they take offense...mxm! like why are you even offended? you had it coming. Confrontations aren't my thing, i'll ignore and tolerate you but if you run my patience thin, i'll be sure to serve you whatever you deserve!..Giving me grief when i've got exams to prepare for!! Ain't nobody got time for that.

..xx..

 

xx

Tourner la page

Zaho (Zehira Darabid) is my very favourite French artist, even though i don't fully understand everything the first time i listen to her songs... (thank God for google translate), i simply adore her songs. She has such a beautiful voice and is so talented.

Here's a you-tube link to one of her songs that am totally loving at the moment, Tourner la page (Turn the page) and a translation of the lyrics. I tried to get the best translation so some parts might not make perfect sense.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZz8r8ZE93I

 

I saw on my way to full landscape
With words I paint pictures
Out of my cage, mounted on one floor 

 Today I fly in the clouds

I let life take me, I let my pen carry me
It is not so easy to turn the page.
When this escapes me and makes me nervous
I sigh and say damage
I stop for a moment, just for a song
I caught the fickle weather

I let life take me, I let my pen carry me
My joys and sorrows
I let life take me, I let my pen carry me
I expect this wave that calls me
To forgive the dumb words, time flows through the hourglass
To forget, do not bend, I advance without knowing where I'm going.

 I try to turn the page (x6)

Drunk as a poet, free like a seagull
I accompany the lonely off
In an ocean of dreams, in good weather or storm
I put my shadow and I swim

I let life take me, I let my pen carry me, it's not so easy to turn the page

To those who listen to me and without giving a total
I am writing to tell you courage.
To those who listen to me even when I doubt
I sing thank you I love you when I'm loose

I let life take me, I let my pen carry me
My joys and sorrows
I let life take me, I let my pen carry me
I expect this wave that calls me
To forgive the dumb words, time flows through the hourglass
To forget, do not bend, I advance without knowing where I'm going.

 I try to turn the page (x6)

I saw on my way to full landscape
With words I paint pictures
I saw on my way to full landscape
With words I paint faces
I saw on my way to full landscape
With words I salute

Paumalilo

I came across BM Sitwe's blog http://bmsitwe.blog.com earlier today, and i was highly fascinated with his Tumbuka and Senga poems. What drew me in even more is the fact that i could understand most of them. Though its my mother tongue,  I speak very little tumbuka..(don't judge me, am learning).
I thought i'd share one poem he wrote titled Paumalilo, which can be translated directly to mean 'At the end'.

'pala chalo chamala vyose vizamuwoneka. Vyakubisika navyamunthondwe, vyose vizamuwoneka. Awo wakukana Ciuta wose wazamuwoneka. Vya waniche na wulala vyose vizamuwoneka. Vyakumumutima na vyakuzungulila vyose vizawoneka. Wakwiba, wahawi na walewe wose wazamuwoneka.'

It basically talks about how in the end everything will be revealed, and will be out in the open for everyone to see and hear.  What we do in secret , our thoughts, the secrets we keep, and our failure to believe in God.

That said, what things are you doing that you shouldn't be doing?! if all your secrets were outed today, do you think people would look at you the way you've always wanted them to?  And lastly, how is it gonna turn out for you in the end?

Enjoy whats left of the weekend.xx

Happy birthday Mom

Today's post is all about the nana of my future kids, the beautiful strong and precious soul that bore Oswell five very beautiful children, my mom, Charity G. Munyenyembe..aka bana kulu Joshua (ie Joshua's grandma).
She is generous with her time, a heart that knows love,joy and giving. I am rich because of how much time, advice and faith she has invested in me. She is always putting us first in all she does, such unselfish love that only a mother can give.
This day, the first day of june, is one i thank you God for..and my grand parents too (lol). For God blessed me with such a precious soul for a mother, even before i came into being, such is the great love of God.
We celebrate her life today, her great health, her strength, her guidance. I pray for abundant blessings and success into her life. May she live to see many more birthdays and more grandkids. I love you so very much mom, i hope you do know that.
Once a year, i will get the chance to pray for your wishes to come true, the past and enemies forgotten; and to hope that your next birthday finds you the same if not better.
i love you, i love you, i love you
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

!!Happy Birthday!!

Daily wisdom

Are you content?

"Are you content?" someone asked me that question the other day; something out of a conversation about wishlists. My answer was that i reckon i am. I've been.thinking about it since and i still can't quite decide if my answer was adequate and whether it rang of complete honesty. To be content is defined by some as to be in.a state of satisfaction and by some as being in a state of peaceful happiness. I'll go with the latter.
There are so many things in my life i am grateful for: a great support system and endless love that is my family, great mentors and companions in the form of friends, the lifeline that is Christ and His ever abundant blessings and endless mercies. I attend a great varsity, my grades are were they should be, i am not financially needy, my self-esteem is as its always been, am nothing short of confident and happy with the person that i am. And that gets me thinking, by what standards do we establish being content? is it by academic achievements, possessions, interpersonal relationships or perhaps self image? are you content with where you are? Are you at that place you thought you would be? is this what you envisioned your life would be like 3years ago? well, am in my final year of undergrad, six more months until that degree is mine; am content with that. I still have a lot to figure out about my self before i can commit to someone else; am content with being single. My mom and my siblings are my biggest fans, my pride, my everything; i am most blessed to.have them. I like to think my dad's looking down on me from heaven; am content with the thought that i'll forever have him with me. Am content with the friends i keep, God bless their souls. All the experiences that have marked my life to date, they've made me the person that i am, taught me some of life's greatest lessons. So in as much as i may want a little more, i mean a car would be nice and straight A's would definitely put a big smile on my mom's face, i am very content with were i am and what i have. Wanting more is what drives us to achieve more and reach greater heights, or atleast it should.
That said, are you content?

☞POSER☜

Daily wisdom...

BedTime Ramblings

My conviction is greater than my need to please. Sometimes i go out of my way to make an impression, but never bending over backwards while am at it. That said, I think if you don't have a great sense of self, and aren't confidently aware of who you are, its easy to get lost in the need to please. If you're happy with the company you keep when you are alone, i say you have found yourself..afterall who you really are is the person you are when you think no one is looking..

Happy Birthday OBM..

Oswell Biandah Munyenyembe (14 May 1954-7 February 2012)

 

 

A little girl needs her daddy to love with manly charm, to soothe her when she's hurt, and keep her safe from harm.
A girl needs her dad to show her a man who is good, to help her make right choices, as only a father could.
A woman needs her father just to be aware he'll always be there for her, to sustain her and care.
you were all these things dad.

I hope you saw how much i treasured you; you meant everything to me.
if tears could build a stairway and memories were a lane, i would walk right up to heaven, to bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken, no time to say good-bye. you were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why.

Had i known, i would have called you then.
Had i known, i would have asked less questions and listened more. Had i known i known one day you'd be gone, and i couldn't show you anymore, I'd have lived each moment as if it were the last. I'd have remembered every word..never let time go by so fast.

May 2010

Why couldn't i realise that you would leave me, and I'd be caught in the past. in the moments i could have changed, the times that were your last. i would have lived a lifetime in a few short days.
Instead, i have a few brief moments, my heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow. what it meant to lose you, no one will ever know.

Rest in Peace OBM, heaven knows I miss you.

 

 

 

You'd have turned 59 yesterday...in as much as i realise this day should be a happy one, for you were so we could be, i find myself hurting...so many times i've hoped it was all just a bad dream..looks like am still waiting to wake up. Till we meet again.

Happy Birthday Dad.

 

BookLoving..

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest
and strongest kind o fear is fear of the unknown."
-H.P. Lovecraft-

Now reading a Shaun Hutson Omnibus; Relics, Spawn and Shadows.
Looks a wee bit freaky, not something I'd usually read.

Mother's Day

8 Nov, 2008.FGSS: My high school graduation.

So yesterday was mother's day , and i thought i'd post something for the very special woman in my life. This is something I posted on my facebook page last year..and it's relevant..it applies everyday of my life.

From the day that i was born, you gave me courage, you kept me safe and warm. You were there when i took my first steps, and went unsteadily across the floor. You pushed and prodded; encouraged and guided until my steps took me out the door. You worry now "are you okay?" Is there any more you could have done? As i walk the paths of the unknown, you wonder "where has my child gone?" Where i am is where you have led me, with your special love you showed me the way; to believe in myself and the decisions I make, taking on the challenge of life day-to-day. And where i go, you can be sure, in spirit you shall never be alone.For where you are is what matters most to me, because to me that will always be home.

2009, my cousin's wedding

You taught me to be faithful, so loving and so true. Whenever i am lonely my thoughts come back to you. Even when i am with you, i know how proud i am, to have you as my mother; it was part of God's great plan. You call me just to say hello, send me notes to say you care and when we are together, special moments we share.

I've copied you, mother. My words echo your voice, you're my shining example, the one of my choice. Not thinking about it, i've copied your style. You fashioned my dreams and painted my hopes; I've learned to make knots at the end of my ropes.

We all learn to love, but not from a friend; I learned your strength. You have mapped the way to heaven above by teaching me kindness, by teaching me love and when i needed comforting, you always found time. Your words were more soothing than days of childhood sublime.

Now the distance holds us apart, the boundaries have no end. but memories i hold in my heart. you're my mother, my bestfriend.

2011, Ndola. My sister, Mom and I

I LOVE YOU MOM

 

New hair... Randoms at the Paxton

Okay...so i just got a new hair-do..n went on a photo-taking binge (haha)

oh, Zandi...you kill me..

“If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane.”
― Robert Frost

hallways...show me your peace sign...waait, why does it look like i have rickets?hmm

anywhere is a dancefloor...haha

NMMU north campus, time to head home...

Shark Rock..oooh, Angelo's why so full?

Wonderful World - Salma Dodia (Official Video HD)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXb-16Ntq50

"..baby come get me..."

something from the motherland.

Zambian and Proud!

#SalmaSings

Fuse ODG ft. Wyclef - Antenna

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LCoksSQMzs

'...she wants to chop my P, do i look like square?...'

T.I.N.A

This Is New Africa... How can you not like Fuse?!! just look at how cool the 'antenna' is...

#jaaaaaammmmmm!!!!

Happiness

something i borrowed from my facebook timeline

by Vitumbiko Dee M. Oswell (Notes) on Friday, 25 May 2012 at 19:59

we convince ourselves that life will be better once we are married,have a baby, then another. Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough and that all will be well when they are older. Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we will be happier when they grow out of their teen years.We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we retire finally.The truth is there is no better time to be happy than right now. If not, then when?your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much n decide to be happy inspite of it all. There is no road to happiness, happiness IS the road.Enjoy every moment. Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten kilos,to gain ten kilos,for work to begin,to get married,for friday evening, for sunday morning, waiting for a new car,for the first or fifteen of the month, for spring,for summer,for winter, for fall, for your song to be played on the radio, to die.....before deciding to be HAPPY!!!