A piece for the ladies...by KB

A piece by KB from the 116 clique for ladies on Suzy Rock's website, Vanity Suxx......(take time to check it out)

To my sisters….

I’d like to start this letter off by saying that I’m incredibly blessed by your love for Jesus.

You are the only women in the world who possess a beauty that will never cease to be complimented (Prov. 31:10).


You have the type of beauty that does NOT fade with age, for it is the type of beauty that flows from fearing Jehovah! The most expensive clothing you will ever wear will not be from a designer’s closet, but from the life purchased by “The Designer’s” Son – the clothing of righteousness. You are daughters of God and you inherit His features; you have His kindness, gentleness and beauty. There are no brothers in the world that should be more proud of their sisters than we are. Along with this, there should be no brothers in the world who are more jealous for their sisters than we are. When I say jealous, I don’t mean jealous of you because I am envious of wanting something that doesn’t belong to me. But rather, I am jealous for you in the way the Bible calls, godly jealously (2Cor. 11:2), in which I zealously want God to have what belongs to Him, your undivided devotion. Sisters, you live in a society where femininity is almost completely lost. Women are said to be “lady like” when they are sex hungry, materialistic, independent, deranged, and have serial relationships. And truthfully, most of what we know about womanhood, especially sex, sexuality and dating, has NOT come from good teachers but from this world. There is so much competing for your heart dear sister and it is my earnest desire to guard and protect you.

There is a real enemy against you, and one of his greatest tools is the simple phrase: “Everybody is doing it.” What the world needs is more godly women who take a stand on the bible. You will be most influential on everybody else when you are most unlike everybody else. My hope is to give you some brotherly guidance to help protect your purity and develop your growth in the Lord. Lets start with biblical courtship. Here are some thoughts from a jealous brother:

God is not interested in developing you into the perfect girlfriend, but into an exemplary wife. For the women of God, there is but one reason why you should allow a man to draw near to you and that is for the purpose of marriage.

If a man is not ready to commit to you then he is not ready to court you. There is nothing more wasteful than dating for fun. This is the epitome of how the world practices things, where commitment means “test driving.” And then after you’ve spilled coffee on the seats, used up the gas and dented the doors you leave the car for somebody else to maintain.

Men and even “Christian men” are greatly responsible for this, but sisters you are not off the hook because you allow it. At all times, my beloved sister, you are another man’s wife. You belong to your future husband or collectively to the bride of Christ, but in either case, you are not your own and are not available for “test driving.” YOU WILL do tremendous damage to your life if you join the “serial monogamy” of modern dating. Hopping from one committed relationship to the next does not give you experience on how to stay committed to one man all life long. Rather, it teaches you to leave when things are not working out, and find somebody else. In other words, you’re being trained to divorce in the future. Contrary to popular belief, experience is not your strongest ally in a relationship, biblical wisdom is. The world would have you live and learn but the bible will have you learn and live.
Singleness

There is a such thing as the gift of singleness and it is not the Lord’s will for everyone to marry. But I’ve come to believe that the “gift” of singleness is the same thing as the “state” of singleness. Figuring out if you have “the gift” or not is not of supreme importance because with or without “the gift” you are called to live a God-devoted life in your singleness. I know of several men and women who are in their late 50′s and have never been married. They would say that they have the gift of singleness, but almost all of them still desire to marry. It’s difficult to be single, but it is also difficult to be married. There is not a gift that makes singleness easier just like there is no gift that makes marriage easier. The phrase, “You complete me,” is a romanticized misunderstanding. We are not half beings hoping to find completion in some soul mate. We are whole beings made for God. You will only be complete in Him and that must be done with or without a spouse. I know the common question is, “Will I ever get married?” Well i don’t know, but if you are in Christ, I do know that you will never be alone.

What He must Be
Sisters you should only embrace a man that loves God more than He loves you. Only settle for a man who can lead you spiritually, who is capable of washing you in the Word. It would be tremendously better to remain single than to become one with someone who does not love Jesus. I understand that there are cases where the Lord has been gracious to save non-believing spouses, but know that is not ideal or normative. A man is incapable of loving you like Christ loved the church if He is does not know who Christ is.

Now I must warn you that you should equally be aware of brothers who are indeed christian, but indeed boys. Being a Christian doesn’t make you worthy of a wife.

Sisters, look for a man who knows the gospel, and will physically lay his life down for you like Jesus did for his bride. Look for a man who values sexual purity and avoids being in compromising environments with you. You want a man who knows where he is going in life and is not known to be inconsistent and irresponsible. Ladies, HE NEEDS TO HAVE A JOB (or at least be on His way to having a job). Not only is he to be a provider for the family, but he needs to know the necessity and difficulty of being industrious. If you are feeding him, clothing him and transporting him to places every week, then there might be an issue. Don’t settle for anything less than a worthy man.


What You must Be
Sisters you must learn to be attractive without being seductive. The bible says, “Do not let your adornment be merely outward-arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” (1 Pet. 3:3-4)

The world will tell you that the way to keep a man is through your curves and body parts. And I say to you sister, any man that is kept by body parts is not worth keeping. Always remember, “What you catch them with is what you catch them to.” If a brother ONLY wants you because of the way you look, he will stop wanting you when you cease to look that way or a better looking woman comes along. Both will happen. Dress to impress a man’s spirit, not his lust. Check your motives, get godly counsel and intentionally try to serve your brothers by dressing modestly. Modesty is not old fashioned, but godliness on display. Allow a man to discover your beauty on his own rather than flaunting what you think he’ll like. I do encourage you to stay in shape, work out, and maintain a healthy size proportional to your body type. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking good, your future husband will appreciate that. I see no biblical reason that forbids you from letting a man know how you feel about him, and putting yourself in an environment where connection can happen. But this information should flow out of a pure friendship, and those environments are most ideal in group settings. Don’t be secretive with your relationship – drown yourself in wise counsel. Thats what I did and I continue to do so, and it is one of the the most helpful tools in my marriage today.

Conclusion and Contentment
I know that many of you have been told that your concern in singleness should be contentment in Christ and not getting married. And although your concern should be contentment in Christ, wanting to get married is not a threat to that concern. Your desire to have a man, is a good and godly desire. It only becomes a problem when that desire for a future husband disrupts your present pursuit of the Lord – when that desire turns into doubt and you question if the Lord knows what He’s doing. Getting married does not fix our issues of contentment, it only give us another person to be discontent with. Contentment is satisfaction that is unmoved by circumstance because it only comes from having Jesus.

 

xx

My nunus..

I love that even in the middle of the exam madness, we can find time to be totally carefree and act crazy and clown around (its probably what we do best,lol). 4 years on and Mwaka and Anelisa get weirder and crazier by the day; and i with them. I love these girls!!

Anelisa

Mwaka

 

 

yes, we're definitely loco

piggy back ride

anelisa,what are you doing?

see me going old school

rabbit hop maybe?

see what's making our backyard look so pretty

I want it all

I see how sometimes it can be so easy to give up on the things we want. When you've tried and think you've given it your best but you really haven't ; now am left wallowing in thoughts of what i could have done better or that maybe i was just never meant to have it.
I'm feeling a little deflated, not as optimistic as i usually am. There are so many things i want but feel are out of my reach right now. I also can't shake the feeling that i flanked one of my exams; failure is a small death i tell you! That degree feels so close but yet so far away (sigh).
Why do all the choices we make have to be a trade off, give up one thing to attain the next; why can't we have it all? I know "you can't have the cake and eat it" but sometimes i wish i could...I want it all.
I didn't realise until now how easily we can get consumed by the things we cannot control; how easy it is to get caught up in things gone by,things that cannot be changed.

Til death do us part

 I was a skeptic before, but i reckon am a believer now..lots of good men out there, I have met a few.
Anyway, that's not what this post is about. I wrote my third exam, the last one of the economics lot and it was to say the least, "the stuff that nightmares are made of"...yes, it was that bad (sniffing)..3qns, 5essays and i was only one hundred percent sure about one..read the whole text book and still he found a way of asking questions that had me grasping at thin straws; my lecturer is a joker,not!
That aside, am trying to find something meaningful..or deep to write about, you know ,reclaim some of the dignity i lost to that ass whooping exam...feel intellectual again. So i'll go with marriage. Everyday, when i log onto my facebook, someone either got married or engaged, urm..did i not get the memo?what is with this marriage craze?! or maybe its just me.
1)Marriage: the legal status,condition or relationship that results from a contract by which one man and one woman,who have the capacity to enter into such an agreement,mutually promise to live together in the relationship of husband and wife in law for life or until the legal termination of the relationship (legal dictionary)
2)therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24)
That said, i think alot of people today are getting married for the wrong reasons. Getting married because there's a baby on the way is one such reason. Wanting to bring a child into this world legitimately by law(inside marriage) is a noble cause, but you really should have thought about that before and when you made that baby. If marriage was on the cards before,well and good, but being coerced into marriage because of the situation you find yourselves in isn't gonna help anything. Odds are that you are still young and are not ready for marriage. some people build better relationship when they do get married, but many more feel trapped, and start to resent each other. You don't want that for yourself or the child you're about to bring into the world. Another reason is "we've been together for so long it was the next step and everyone expected it of us." It's a good enough reason but you need something more than that. You need to be in love with that person enough to want to spend the rest of your life with him or her. It's easy to mix being in love and loving someone..i reckon that difference is applied once you're married(speculating,i've never been married). Sometimes when you've been with someone for so long you take them for granted, and tend to take a lot of other things for granted too, things that might be important to the other person. You don't want to be stuck in a marriage only to realise you're in it with a friend and not a husband..not that your husband shouldn't be your friend (am i making sense?). Anyway, I guess when you know he or she is the one,you just know..3months or 10yrs later.
Now, point 1) and 2) clearly state ONE man and ONE woman..now,tell me why do most marriages today involve third n fourth parties?! clearly people aren't honouring the sanctity of marriage anymore. "I'll always go home to the wife,but it doesn't mean i can't have a lil fun with other girls"... "hubby is loving and everything,but he doesn't spoil me the way other guys do"...  You hear ish like that on the daily...ON THE DAILY. What standard are we setting for the next generation? its okay to cheat, its just a little fun, no harm done....wrong!! Seriously, if you can't keep your heart and body in one place, just don't get married. One man for one woman and vice versa, period! when you decide to get married, your days of frat boy/life of the party behaviour are over mate! once you get married to that guy, forget about other men's advances and their cheap talk. If he can disrespect your marriage by disregarding the fact that you're married, odds are the oak doesn't know right from wrong or where to draw the line..he'll disrespect you too.
Don't even get me started on girls who allow themselves to be side chic/plates (since wifey is the main chic) or men that go after other men's wives. Shame on you!! yes, I'll be judgemental about it, unless you honestly didn't know he or she was married, there is no excuse for you to be in that relationship. He will never leave his wife for you; unless of course his as much of an ass head as you are. If she leaves her husband for you, what makes you think she won't leave you too?! wise up!
That said...if you're ready,love that girl/boy, are committed and in it for the long haul..20 or 4O..wife her..marry that lad and be merry..Til death do you part!
xx

23!!

just because its my birthday soon..!!

 

 

 

36 brilliant quotes for my birth month, November!

Just because I was born in november, it is a special month, y'all better recognise (haha). I like to get inspired by all these beautiful and meaningful words these awesome academics, poets, historians, authors and philosphers (and whatever else) were quoted saying..

 

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, affects its successful outcome.”
– William James

 

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.”
– Alan Alda

 

“Here is a test to find out whether your mission on earth is finished: If you are alive, it isn’t.”
– Richard Bach

 

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”
– Charles Darwin

 

“Flaming enthusiasm, backed by horse-sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.”
– Dale Carnegie

 

“Try to forget yourself in the service of others. For when we think too much of ourselves and our own interests, we easily become despondent. But when we work for others, our efforts return to bless us.”
– Sidney Powell

 

“It is not by spectacular achievements that man can be transformed, but by will.”
– Henrik Ibsen

 

“The idle person gets nowhere. The perpetually busy person does not get much further.”
– Sir Heneage Ogilivie

 

“It is always in season for old men to learn.”
– Aeschylus

 

“More persons are humbugged by believing in nothing than by believing in too much.”
– P.T. Barnum

 

“Nature uses human imagination to lift her work of creation to even higher levels.”
– Luigi Pirandello

 

“Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.”
– Carl Sandburg

 

“What is now proved was once only imagined.”
– William Blake

 

“I figured if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.”
– Muhammad Ali

 

“Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can.”
– Lowell Thomas

 

“Once we know our own weaknesses they cease to do us any harm.”
– Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

 

“Well done is better than well said.”
– Benjamin Franklin

 

“To be a champion, you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will.”
– Sugar Ray Robinson

 

“No labor, however humble, is dishonoring.”
– The Talmud

 

“Don’t dream it. Be it!”
– Richard O’Brian

 

“Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.”
– Jim Rohn

“Nothing ever comes to one that is worth having

 except as a result of hard work.”
– Booker T. Washington

 

“The successful person will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.”
– Dale Carnegie

 

“I’ve always tried to go one step past wherever people expected me to end up.”
– Beverly Sills

 

“Don’t let the fear of striking out hold you back.”
– Babe Ruth

“The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

“Make a success of living by seeing the goal and aiming for it unswervingly.”
– Cecil B. De Mille

 

“Optimists are right. So are pessimists. It’s up to you to choose which you will be.”
– Harvey Mackay

 

“Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?”
– Frank Scully

 

“It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
– Albert Einstein

 

“The path to success is to take massive, determined action.”
– Anthony Robbins

 

“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.”
– Rene Descartes

 

“Never turn down a job because you think it’s too small; you don’t know where it can lead.”
– Julia Morgan

 

“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”
– Colin Powell

 

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit.”
– Aristotle

 

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

 

......and because I believe in the beauty of all my dreams, the future belongs to ME!!! lol

....

 ...oh what wisdom Chinua Achebe (RIP) had...

If you don't like someone's story, write your own. Nobody can teach me who i am, and what i need is something i have to find out myself. It is the story maker who makes us what we are, who creates history; the storyteller creates the memory that the survivors must have-otherwise their surviving would have no meaning.

 

We cannot trample upon the humanity of others without devaluing our own. As an Igbo proverb goes "onye ji onye n'ani ji onwe ya"; he who will hold another down in the mud must stay in the mud to keep him down.When a tradition gathers enough strength to go on for centuries, you just don't turn it off one day.

 

When suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat, he tells you not to worry because he brought his own stool. While we do good works, let us not forget that the real solution lies in a world in which charity will have become unnecessary.

 

"that we are surrounded by deep mysteries is known to all but the incurably ignorant"